Friday, August 08, 2003

The Lighter Side of Birth Order (Continued)

Diaper disposals
First child: You buy a Diaper Genie or other specialized container and use it religiously to dispose of all of your baby's diapers.

Second child: You still have a Diaper Genie, and if you happen to change your baby in its vicinity, you use it.

Third child: You ran out of replacement bags for your Diaper Genie last time around, and instead you keep a lot of old plastic shopping bags on hand to cut down the smell of the diapers in the household garbage cans.

Monogrammed baby clothes
First child: Your friends throw you a big party after the baby is born and you get the cutest little monogrammed baby outfit.

Second child: You decide to spring for a similar monogrammed baby outfit for your second child so that she can have a baby picture that matches your firstborn's.

Third child: Your baby is still decked out in a monogrammed outfit--it's just pink and bears his sibling's initials.

Onesies
First child: You look in a book to find out what a "onesie" is and then make sure to buy one for each day of the week

Second child: You go through your old onesies and sort out the ones in the wrong color or that are too stained. You also make sure to buy enough to have a week's worth of onesies (which you now realize is closer to three per day!)

Third child: You figure that color and spit-up stains don't show through an outer layer of clothing, and if one of the three snaps is functional, hey, it's acceptable.

Stocking up on baby clothes
First child: Full price.

Second child: You still spring for full price for special occasions, but you basically outfit your child off the sale racks.

Third child: Hand-me-downs and garage sales. Can't beat 25 cents a shirt, now, can you?

Dealing with tantrums
First child: You question what you've done wrong, get out the parenting books, and ponder how to best handle the situation so you don't damage your child's fragile ego.

Second child: You yell at your child when she throws a tantrum, but give in because you don't want her shrieks to wake your other child.

Third child: Your calm response to your child's tantrum is to ask "OK, so whom do you want to go live with?"

Baby books
First child: You record every coo and hiccup, and the pages are so full of memorabilia that the book won't shut.

Second child: You keep your baby book in a big storage box along with all of the important notes, scraps, and photos in hopes of one day finding time to record all the memorable moments.

Third child: Memorabilia gets hung on the refrigerator with a magnet and the baby book is still in its original wrapper, which proves to be very fortunate when you are invited to a friend's baby shower and find yourself at the last minute without a gift.

Feeding supplies
First child: Tiffany silver spoon and Royal Doulton Bunnykins cup and bowl.

Second child: Matched sets of plastic, compartmentalized kid plates and utensils with cute designs.

Third child: A motley assortment of free souvenir plates and cups collected from countless meals at family restaurants.

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