Wednesday, February 18, 2004

"Acceptance is nothing less than the complete transformation of what one has believed to be one's self and one's reality."

~ Cheri Huber, author of When You're Falling, Dive


Friday, February 13, 2004

Bless you, kitty cat

With Friday the 13th upon us, you may feel especially leery of black cats, who in the Middle Ages were believed to transform themselves into witches after so many years of companionship. There is hardly a culture that doesn’t regard cats as holy or diabolical creatures. For example,

• A strange black cat on your porch brings prosperity. – Scottish

• A cat sneezing is a good omen for everyone who hears it. – Italian

• When a cat washes behind its ears, you may expect visitors. – Dutch

• A cat sleeping with all four paws tucked under means cold weather ahead. – English

• It is bad luck to cross a stream carrying a cat. – French

• Dreaming of a white cat means good luck. – American

• To kill a cat brings 17 years of bad luck. – Irish


Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Yoda statue stolen!

What is this world coming to! Someone lifted a 170-pound bronze statue of Yoda, the "Star Wars" Jedi master. The theft from a flatbed truck was reported to police last weekend and artist Lawrence Noble has offered a $1,000 reward for its return. The limited-edition bronze is worth up to $20,000. The statue was one of four bolted to a flatbed truck parked overnight Jan. 17 at the Westway Inn on Colorado Boulevard. Police said someone grabbed Yoda that night or early the next morning. Lucasfilm Ltd. commissioned the statues, a part of a planned series featuring other "Star Wars" characters. The statues were being transported from Artworks Foundry in Berkeley to DKE Enterprises in Los Angeles to be sold.


Monday, February 02, 2004

You Might Be Stupid If ...

... you can't remember how to spell "IQ."
... you can't remember the number for 911.
... you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.
... you use correction fluid on your PC monitor.
... you fail Physical Education.
... you can not spell it.
... you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!
... you put braille on a drive up teller machine.
... you think Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
... you think a pigpen is something to write with!
... you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles.
... you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.
... you frequently misspell your own name.
... you've ever been stuck in a toilet seat.
... you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade.
... it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes.
... you often wonder who Ronald McDonald's parents are.
... you sell your car for gas money.
... you think Hamburger Helper comes with a man.
... you try thinking and nothing happens.
... you think a quarterback is a refund!
... you think hot dogs are real meat.
... people nick-name you Homer.
... you cook Minute Rice for an hour!
... upon approaching a traffic sign that says STOP AHEAD, you reach over and grab your passenger by the top of the head.
... you lose $25 on a horse race and then lose $25 on the instant replay!
... you were the one testing out the shark bite suit.
... you get tangled up in a cordless phone.
... you need to be reminded to breath.
... someone tells you to call 911, and you can't find the 11!
... you take a donut back cause it has a hole on it!
... you stare at an orange juice can because it says concentrate.
... you have to look "stupid" up in the dictionary.
... you sit on the T.V. and watch the couch.
... you tell your wife not to laugh as you point a gun to your head, because she is next!
... you think Yogi Bear played for the Yankees.
... you bronze a gold medal as a keep sake.
... you get lost in your closet.
... you take an I.Q. test and forget to write your name.
... you go around a revolving door looking for the door knob.
... you list the police department as a reference on your resume.
... you get fired from volunteer work.
... a hamburger is a cheeseburger, hold the cheese, to you.
... you run around looking for a quarter to call 911.
... you can't find the "ANY" key on the keyboard.
... you feel for one millisecond that you may have won the sweepstakes this time despite the fact that it is stamped in clear view "bulk rate."
... you try to look up a word in the dictionary without knowing how to spell it correctly, and you can't find it. Feeling like a "genius", that you realize that WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY made an error.
... if it takes you an hour to make minute rice.
... you have to look on both ends to open a bottle.
... someone offers you a bagel and you reply, "No thanks, I already have a dog!"
... you turn the light on to see if it's dark.
... you take your chia pet for a walk.
... you wear your glasses while looking for them.