Tales from the Other Side....

The Halloween party was over, and Mark was going home. It wasn't quite afull moon; but as that happened just a few days earlier, it was still quite bright even when some of the light clouds changed it from a near perfect circle to a blurry glow. Mark was not suspicious, but he was tired, and therefore had no problem deciding to take the shortcut home through the cemetery, even on Halloween.

It was just an ordinary cemetery, and with the moonlight, there was no difficulty crossing. At least not normally. But this was no normal night, because shortly after he entered the cemetery, the moon became uncovered, and he heard what sounded like a faint voice in the distance softly calling"maarrk, maarrk." It seemed a little strange, but he figured it was just a typical night noise, even though it stopped when the moon was again covered with clouds.

A few moments later, as Mark approached the center of the cemetery, the moon again peeked out from behind the clouds, and he heard the call, this time closer: "Marrk, Marrk." This time he got a little nervous, and started walking faster. The moon was covered; it again became uncovered. Even closer he heard "Marrk, Marrk." He shouted "Who is it? What do you want?" But the moon was again covered and he heard nothing. Mark started running.

The moon again became visible. "Mark, Mark," went the voice, sounding even closer. He ran for his life, tripping over tombstones, getting scratched on bushes and briers, and at last reached the edge of the cemetery and heard loudly right in front of him "MARK, MARK." He looked down . . .. . .and there was a big dog wearing a muzzle. "MARK, MARK."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

What passes for cheap thrills for a 40-plus mom

by Ann Hodgman and Patricia Marx

• Collecting an unprecedented five gallons of coins for the penny harvest at your child’s elementary school.
• Paper towels with a paisley border
• Seeing a girl you went to high school with in a bit part as the rich victim’s dog walker on Law & Order
• Heated car seats

Inside the 40-plus mom’s brain

by Ann Hodgman and Patricia Marx

"If that’s a chin hair, I’m killing myself right now."
"No way I’m this fat. The dry cleaner shrank my pants."
"If I do Amy’s carpool next Thursday, and Wendy does Meg’s carpool Friday, and Rachel does my carpool on..."
"She must have had Botox."
"Why aren’t there more bathing suites with skirts?"

The real life of an over-40 mom

You’re hip, you’re cool...Oh, face it, you’ve crossed the line. Relax and have a laugh about how you’ve changed.

1. You expect your breakfast cereal to cure you, not entertain you.
2. Getting lost in a car is no longer a romantic adventure.
3. You actually think your daughter’s friends are all too thin.
4. You made it all the way to work without noticing that you were wearing one loafer and one clog.
5. You experience wrinkles and pimples simultaneously.
6. You no longer fantasize about marrying into the royal family.
7. Midnight seems awfully late.
8. You now pay close attention to your electric bill.
9. In an argument the other night with the kids, you said, "That’s neither here nor there."
10. When you meet friends for coffee, the first ten minutes are spent on ritual reassurance ("You look so good!" "No, you do!")
11. It’s time to donate all the clothes you once looked cool in to the costume box at the nursery school.
12. When your 25-year-old pregnant neighbor vows that she will never have an epidural, you just smile.
13. All the music in the car belongs to your children.
14. Tears come to your eyes as you fly over the Grand Canyon.
15. You realize that you will never live long enough to finish all the books you’ve put aside to read when you have time.
16. You have trouser socks in every color.
17. Your children have to explain most of the jokes on the Video Music Awards.
18. You put the cat on a low-calorie diet.
19. You’ve memorized the nutritional values of every existing brand of ice cream.
20. You have a definite position on how gravy should be made.
21. You have either mastered parallel parking or given up on it.

by Ann Hodgman and Patricia Marx

Learning from Failure

You've failed many times, although you don't remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim. . . . Don't worry about failure. . . . Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try. ~ Sherman Finesilver, US District Court Judge

The following quote reminds me of some of the part time help we hire around the holidays at the mall.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. ~ Sam Ewing

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that youdidn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sailaway from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

What every woman wants…a great career, a good man, and comfortable shoes -- lots and lots of them. ~ Catherine Bell

Indian Summer

by Helena Coleman (1860-1953)

Of all Earth's varied, lovely moods,
The loveliest is when she broods
Among her dreaming solitudes
On Indian Summer days;
When on the hill the aster pales,
And Summer's stress of passion fails,
And Autumn looks through misty veils
Along her leafy ways.

How deep the tenderness that yearns
Within the silent wood that turns
From green to gold, and slowly burns
As by some inward fire!
How dear the sense that all things wild
Have been at last by love beguiled
To join one chorus, reconciled
In satisfied desire!

The changing hillside, wrapped in dreams
With softest opalescent gleams,
Like some ethereal vision seems,
Outlined against the sky;
The fields that gave the harvest gold–
Afar before our eyes unrolled
In purple distance, fold on fold–
Lovely and tranquil lie.

We linger by the crimson vine,
Steeped to the heart with fragrant wine,
And where the rowan-berries shine,
And gentians lift their blue;
We stay to hear the wind that grieves
Among the oak's crisp russet leaves,
And watch the moving light, that weaves
Quaint patterns, peering through.

The fires that in the maples glow,
The rapture that the beeches know,
The smoke-wraiths drifting to and fro,
Each season more endears;

Vague longings in the heart arise,
A dimming mist comes to the eyes
That is not sadness, though it lies
Close to the place of tears.

We share the ecstasy profound
That broods in everything around,
And by the wilderness are crowned–
Its silent worship know.
O when our Indian Summer days
Divide the parting of the ways,
May we, too, linger here in praise
Awhile before we go!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler. ~ Henry David Thoreau